Are You Kidding?
I recently received a newsletter from a source I respect for information regarding building a writer reputation. Maybe I was tired when I read it, no, of course, I was tired! I’m no spring chicken anymore. As I read, I couldn’t help but laugh. Laughing is good for the soul, and my soul is doing fine. My body, not so much, but I’m writing, and this is a good thing. Writing keeps me occupied. Writing takes my mind off the pain I feel every single day.
As I read, it occurred to me the things I thought were funny, though the tips are true for so many writers and authors, wouldn’t work well for me as written, and here’s why.
The first thing I’m supposed to do every single morning is to build my writer reputation! Yes!
“The first thought I have every morning is , “Wow! Thank you, Lord, for another day.” The next
thing I do is figure out how to get out of bed. Believe me, it does take some thought and finesse
on occasion. Luckily, this doesn’t happen every day.”
Have a good breakfast and cuppa joe, or tea, and write a few lines!
I know I’m supposed to eat a good breakfast, but first I get the kinks out of my body. I walk up and down the hall while I wait on my cuppa joe. Sciatica is no fun folks! Add that to Fibromyalgia, Degenerative Disc, Arthritis, Moderate Psoriasis, Psoriatic Arthritis, Autoimmune problems; my list goes on. My fingers fumble with easy open caps to take my medication, so I don’t even think about picking up an ink pen or pencil and paper. I prefer not to have my arms and hands looking like an adult coloring book first thing in the morning. Thank you very much. It confuses me.
There are days I eat only a little bit of something, because of my medication, and by the time I’ve shuffled up and down my hallway, I’ve roamed into my writing room, and forgotten all about eating until my stomach starts growling. Then it’s down the hall. Wait, I forgot my coffee cup for a top off, and reverse direction up the hallway. As I reach the end, I’m thinking, why am I here? Oh, yes, I’m hungry. I need more coffee, my coffee’s cold. I top off the coffee, and while doing so, a thought enters my mind on what I’m working on at the computer, and back down the hall, I go. Dang! I forgot my cup…yes; this may happen to you someday.
One of the most efficient ways to build my reputation as a writer should also be happening after I rise and shine they say – generating great social media content on a consistent schedule. If I add new content to my social media accounts at the start of each day, I’ll soon be reaping the benefits of gaining more friends and fans, all while building my writing reputation! Wow! Sounds fantastic!
What is social media? Nah, I’m kidding, I know. To be fair, while social media was springing forth into the world, I was working. Working. I got paid to work. I’m “Old School” that’s the word they use for me. Everyone else is peeking, seeking, poking, and twittering, and I am pretending I know about the subject. When I was at home and not working, I was taking online classes, cleaning my home, trying to keep in contact with family and friends the old-fashioned way, finishing up work brought home at the end of the day, doing laundry, cooking for myself, and writing for a little. I slept in the time left over. Now, I’m far behind. I’m disabled and getting old before my real time, and playing catch up. I hear #hashtag, and my husband says hash brown. I get those confused because he thinks it’s funny. I guess it is. Hash brown this, hash brown that. Now I’m hungry again.
People will forget about you if you don’t post to your social media accounts regularly!
Folks, except for a few rare cases regarding friends and family, doctor visits, dental appointments, and eye exams – once you become a shut in, (defined as being confined to my home due to illness or infirmity) this one is true. If you don’t spend all day at the computer saying hi, hi, hi, hi, hi to everyone, they will forget you. It may be sad, but my best friends are the waving pine cones, the scampering squirrels, the cawing crows, and the tiny little house wrens and other birds visiting on a regular basis. These actions are probably only funny if you are here and see me waving and chirping back. Oh, and jumping out of my skin when my phone rings to find out after I’ve answered it’s an automated telemarketer. I think I’ll add sending myself a bouquet of Forget-me-nots to my calendar.
This spoof was entertaining for me. I think a continuation is in order . . .